Thursday, April 3, 2008

me no workie!

I'm supposed to be writing a paper for my US History class - but I just can't seem to get myself to get started.

I'm seriously procrastinating these days. I'm just now feeling human again after such a long period of illness; work has been so intense lately - the new software configuration and conversion and go live - travel to DC on business - end of fiscal year close this week, paired with the new org structure.

I'm just frikkin BEAT.

I can't (for the life of me) even recall why in the hell I decided to go back to school in the first place. I've got a set career - I won't be a millionaire, that's for sure... but I make a decent little living. What else is there? Why run run run towards a goal that won't even pay off if I stay with my current position. I'm already up for a freepin promotion because I bust my butt to get things done, and get them done right.

To these thoughts I say a hearty "yeargh!" and sigh.

I'm not a historical figure, I don't have a huge impact on society or the world as a general rule... what is this all about? Who, exactly, am I trying to impress? I don't mean to sound crass, but I'm already pretty happy with who I am and all that I've accomplished. Yes, the degree makes a difference to people that don't know me. But do I care about people that don't know me? Do I care if I have big mortgage on some house, a new car or fancy bangles? Not really. I do care about having "enough" for the basics (which I do have, and have had for seventeen years now.)

I've raised three kids on my salary. I have enough to travel when I want to, pay my bills, buy some new jeans whenever I want them, get pedicures... I'm really OK with my salary. I don't believe that anything in this economy is permanent, in fact - quite the opposite. But I just don't have the drive towards having to live for gobs of cash.

I'm moving towards some self-realization... and my point here?

I'm being lazy and I don't want to do my homework.

*tee hee*

4 comments:

Doug Murata said...

Spoken like a true student! I haven't been a student for a few years now and I've started wondering if I should invest time in learning something. I know that the looming due date of an assignment would help to light that fire under my ass to get things done, but my laziness takes over when I think of actually having to do assignments. Y'know, with a due date! (It's a love/hate relationship.)

Good luck!

paula said...

Hi Doug :) Ha! yeah, I had to laugh when I finished my paper this morning. It wasn't even difficult to write - the subject matter is something that I feel passionately about... so I was just being a whiner. ;) Are you considering going back to school, or just thinking of some private instruction for personal enrichment?

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you're blogging again!

How far away is the light at the end of the scholastic tunnel?

paula said...

HDD! :) The light at the end of the tunnel seems like a freight train headed my way. But I admit that it might seem that way because it is finals week.

No school for me this summer. I'm going to take fun stuff like "Sunbathing" and "How to make the perfect Martini"... maybe "Advanced Sleeping".

How are you? Email me!